Whilst some swimmers choose the sunny climes of Western Australia for their racing, an altogether hardier romp of 10 untapered Otters chose the rather more chilly setting of Glasgow as the scene for their hunt for glory! Striking a severe blow for Anglo-Celtic relations, the team took around 34 gold, 8 silver and 8 bronze  and placed Otter firmly on the Glasgow map (finally putting paid to the question “where are you’s folks from, because I haen’t (sic) heard of your club?”!

“The Boys are Back in Town”

Leading the charge for the Otter men was Anthony Van der “Team New Zealand” Kraay. Clearly determined to get value for money, he took on a punishing schedule of events (800FS, 400IM, 200IM, 200FS, 200 FLY and 200BK). Racing in an Otter cap for the first  time (Steve’s to be precise) he scored gold in all of them in convincing style, took the best in age category for 25-29 year old men and proved that: 

a:pacing reigns supreme;
b:warm-ups before the 800 are for wimps (after arriving at the pool approximately 4 mins and 27s before his heat); 
c:it’s all about who wins and not who’s first at 200m!;
d:he and Tim combined are a terrible influence on the rest of the team 

This report would be incomplete without further mention of Tim “Paparazzi” Lam and his interesting approach to competing. Allegedly providing what he deems “realistic” entries, Mr Lam posted a result that was 11s faster than his seed time in the 100 breast (winning the gold); the baying crowds may never forgive him! An interesting entry in the 50 breast also saw him pitted in the first of several ‘grudge’ matches against Steve “Coach Extraordinaire” Bratt. Several strong performances followed throughout the weekend resulting in three bronzes for 50 breast, 50 fly and 200IM. We can only assume that he was asked for his entry times by someone with a Glaswegian accent and didn’t understand the question!

Andy “Shoot me if I ever enter another 200” Hudson and Matt “Who needs training?” Staines headed up the second Otter face-off with a performance that is currently the subject of FINA investigations. Sources believe that the race was choreographed as part of a gentleman’s agreement as both men touched in 59.01 despite displaying very different tactics (coincidence? We think not)! Both men put in several other sterling performances with Matt taking the gold in 50 free and silver in the 50 back and 100 free and Andy winning the 50 and 100 free. However, Andy needs a bit of help in training in the future; 4 lengths add up to 100m and, sadly, not 150!!! Matt’s admirable performance at the Cehlidh also deserves a mention; he taught the Otter ladies all the moves and almost literally swept them off their feet in the process, even if there WAS a distinct lack of kilt on his part!

The young guns were out in the form of Dave “the Sprinter” Roberts and Rob “it’s all about the 200s” Williams. Roberts’ sprinting was in top form as he raced to golds in 50 breast, free and 100 free and silvers in the 50 and 100 fly. We can’t wait to watch his races after Steve’s new turn practise – the man will soar! Flying in briefly (and getting caught almost immediately in the hotel fire alarm), Williams took on the 200’s and put in strong performance. Pacy swims led to a silver in the 200 breast, bronze in the 200 fly and narrowly missing out on a second bronze in the 200 free.

Last but of course never least, coach Steve is back! With a stunning performance in the 100 IM (was it 9s faster than last time coach?) and a backstroke technique that this reporter would, frankly, kill for, he was not to be outdone by his charges and secured a bronze in the 50 back and 50 breast and a fourth in the 100 IM.

“Here Come the Girls”

The first ladies’ race of the meet saw another good old Otter rivalry with our only three way. The women’s 100 breast saw Fiona “World Class Start” Marshall, Jane “Louis Vuitton goggles” Leighton and Catherine “But I haven’t tapered…” Dobson drawn, much to CD’s disgust, in the same heat. Marshall and Leighton put in explosive performances to take gold in the 30-34 and 25-29 year ages groups in punchy times and Dobson set a lifetime best to take a cheeky bronze and thankfully finish less than half a length behind the real breaststrokers!

The three girls flew the women’s flag proudly all weekend. Fiona put in stunning performances every time she hit the water with a particularly swift 50 fly and 50 freestyle and an excellent performance in the 400 free, proving she’s not just about the sprints! Ms Marshall also took on the 50 back (purely for the decathlon points you understand) and completed her quintet of individual golds. Fiona is very much in contention for Steve’s new start-of-the-meet contest; never has such a textbook break out been witnessed in Otter history. Unfortunately she was also the first to fall victim to the backstroke-turn-curse that dogged the club all weekend!!!

Jane was characteristically critical of her own performances despite taking more golds in 200 back, 200 breast, 200 IM and 50 breast. A dog fight for victory in the latter has proven beyond all doubt that she does now have (at least) one short twitch muscle.  Crowds were extremely disappointed to note that there was not a hint of a Louis Vuitton handbag behind the blocks, her standards are clearly slipping now that she’s a sprinter! However, in an attempt at redemption, rumour has it that a neon pink cap will be coming to a pool near you soon!

Cate, in spite of her protestations of needing a taper (to anyone who would, or in fact would not, listen to her whining for about the last month), managed to be either close to or faster than her times from Sheffield last year (oops), the highlight being the 50 back. Despite having the reaction time of a tortoise, she took advantage of the underwater phase to lead the field to convincing victory by over 2s. Rumour has it that she also finished first (or second) in the 50m adjusted time competition but, in the worst show of anti-English feeling since the Battle of Flodden Field, the announcer informed us (through gritted teeth) that she didn’t count – some rubbish about being born on the wrong side of the border! Dobson also illustrated beautifully how NOT to pace 100 back – apparently it is unwise to set a PB on the first 25 with a foot touch, it WILL go horribly wrong!

“Celebrate Good Times, C’mon” (and the Relays)

The relays were all about Otter (in the 100-119 age group anyway). Fielding teams in the men’s and mixed relays, the boys and girls set about showing the other clubs how it’s done. Day one saw  Dobson, Leighton, Van der Kraay and Roberts kick ass in the mixed medley winning the gold by 13s. Swapping Jane for Fiona and Anthony for Tim day two saw the team hit the blocks for the mixed freestyle. Ever the motivator, the Marshall informed Team Otter there was no room for messing this one up, fortunately it all went according to plan and the team took another gold, this time by only 11s (well we had to give ‘em a chance). 

The men’s medley saw another dominant performance for Staines, Lam, Williams and Roberts, 7s clear of Catalonia. Finishing with style, Dave, Anthony, Rob and Tim dominated the freestyle and incurred the wrath of the officials by throwing a camera down to Tim in the pool to photograph them on the block (see the end of this report)! Boys, boys, boys!
As if the Scots didn’t hate us enough for taking many of their medals, the celebrations concocted, it is believed, by the 25-29 year old men certainly did the trick! Champagne was uncorked, then drunk, guns were kissed and rifles fired; it’ll be coming to a YouTube near you soon!

“Thank you for the Music” (Well, for the movies really!)

Thanks to coach Steve for heroically recording every single split, his encouragement and critiques! Mr and Mrs Leighton for their cheering. Tim and assorted video recordists for capturing so many swims on camera (Oh God!). The former narrowly avoided a chat with the Glasgow Constabulary for not registering his camera and blithely stating he didn’t need to do so; that lifeguard clearly thought he was a dodgy sort! Andy Hudson for his work on the relays including pandering to all of our order and race swapping whims. Finally, to the pool staff for throwing us out the pool, in fast skins (yup; April’s not that warm in Scotland it transpires), hair covered in conditioner, during the fire alarm and not putting the water back on for a further ten minutes (Jane’s hair was even shinier than normal!). 

Congratulations to all those who swam, placing 5th overall as a club with 10 swimmers  in only 2 women’s categories and 4 men’s wasn’t a bad bit of work, was it? Also to everyone in Perth who’ve been having a stunner! Bring on Manchester and Middlesex; the Otters are unstoppable!!!